First Anniversary Wish List: Not Spending it in the Hospital.

Sitting in the waiting room before the ultrasound, I could feel my heart beating in my chest. I was fidgeting with Robie's fingers, trying to calm my nervousness and quiet my racing thoughts. They eventually turned into a continual prayer: "Please don't let me spend our anniversary weekend in the hospital. Please."

That morning, I'd noticed a dull ache in my left calf. Robie was certain it was from our visit to the surgeon the day before—all that standing up, sitting down, and moving around. It was the most active I'd been since surgery. It was the movement required for them to give me a new binder, check my wounds, and remove drains. His argument was sound, it’s plausible that all this strain could be the cause. But my awareness (and potential fear) of blood clots extends back long before a movement-restricting surgery gave light to the topic.

When you were in primary school, was picture day of importantance? It was as my house and usually involved sleeping in curlers. When you look back at the chronology of photos from my elementary years—one does not look like the others. That's the year my mom was hospitalized due to a blood clot and hairstyling fell to my father (it was combed perfectly straight… just not styled - much like now!). She had another clot when I was in college, prompting me to come home from my first semester to be with her at the hospital. The third was a decade later after one of her cancer-related surgeries at OHSU.

There's no genetic cause for my mom's clots, but the medical team took heed when I mentioned them and had taken preventative measures for me after both of my surgeries. That was the reason Robie was giving me daily shots for a week following each procedure, and I was taking daily aspirin, even though I had no personal history of blood clots. With all this prevention- there was no obvious reason to suspect one now—but that's the gift of being still and listening to your body. That ache was something described to me when we'd met with a hematologist, and I paid attention. When I mentioned it my surgeon - we were immediately sent for an ultrasound.

The ultrasound technician was incredible. He played the right era of music and was accommodating, having double-booked to fit us in immediately. All of this happened within 3-4 hours of me noticing the ache in my calf. We were on the phone with surgeons before we even left the ultrasound room.

Fortunately, medicine has come so far since my mother had her clots. We caught my blood clot very early. It's classified as a DVT but considered superficial because of where it's located and its progression—which means I could be on medication and at home with monitoring rather than being hospitalized. Which, based on my experience with my mom, I didn’t even realize was an option.

The rest of Robie's day was a tailspin as he dealt with doctors on the phone—sorting out details and picking up medication. I went home and needed a nap (which is surprisingly rare for me given my current state!). I had to postpone one call and reschedule another to this week because of how quickly the day became too much.

The most beautiful gift in all of this? Instead of being surrounded by hospital machines and medical staff during our anniversary weekend, I got to be at home with the love of my life. A simple prayer, powerfully answered.

Your Support Makes All the Difference

As you may have seen, we reached our initial GoFundMe goal—what an incredible stress relief this has been! Thank you for being part of this journey with us.

We're still working through the Oregon Paid Leave claims process - which is what you now have to do in Oregon instead of using paid time off through your employer, which can slow things down and complicate it a bit (even as it is a huge gift). Robie seems to have his claim approved (though we're still waiting to hear when funds might arrive in lieu of his normal paychecks). I started my process two months before surgery, but it's quite cumbersome. The surgery forced me to pause my end of things, and I haven't yet been able to pick it back up. Hopefully, we'll get these pieces figured out soon and complete another part of this financial puzzle.

We were excited to start booking housecleaning services, but there was something important I missed in all the pre-surgery chaos. Starting May 1st, we need to pay $900 monthly to Robie's work for his portion of medical and other insurance premiums. So for now, those funds will need to go toward insurance rather than housecleaning and meal services.

Thankfully, three different people have sent us specific gifts via Venmo or signed up on the meal train to help offset meals at this time which is a huge blessing. Robie's coworkers continue to bring meals by, so that piece of the puzzle is being cared for. We continue to trust that everything will come together.

I appreciate you—yes, you reading this right now—and the beautiful way you've shown up for us. There are many little things we've needed to purchase immediately because delivery takes so long. For instance, xeroform dressing, tongue depressers for applying the salve, and even fun things—as I bought my first wrap skirt as it was a pressing need, but the next two came from wonderful individuals who purchased them from our list.

I wish you could have seen Robie's face light up when he opened one of the boxes and found coffee clearly meant for him. He was genuinely touched. Thank you for adding joy to his moments and easing some of his burden. He does so much to care for me, and it means the world to see him feel loved and supported too.

Many of you have asked what items are most important right now. Currently, there's an unflavored additive called Juven that Robie has put in a drink for me once daily to help with wound healing. We purchased the smaller box available at Walgreens, and have run out. Ever since I’ve been home, under Robie’s care and drinking Juven my outcomes for the skin survival has progressed in a positive direction. Additionally, everyone has been amazed at how quickly the wounds from my drains have closed, especially now that I'm on blood thinners that make healing more complicated. I'm determined to keep taking it, but it's not an expense we can easily justify. If someone felt inclined to get us the next 30-day supply, it would be amazing to have that option. It's become part of my healing routine, and would probably be our highest need right now.

I've also recently added some loose dresses in (admittedly crazy) sizes. Hopefully, they'll work throughout the next three months—we might just have to pin them up or find a seamstress. Anyone here know one? 😊

We've discovered that the staining from the Silvadene we use on my wounds is better hidden by patterned fabrics, especially dark colors and smaller patterns. We're trying different stain removers, but most products that remove these stains can also remove colors. My preference for solid colors is being overridden by the practical need for small patterns to hide stains. These won't be sizes I'll wear in 6 months or a year, and they'll have stains from the Silvadene, which is why I'm trying to keep costs low for clothes I'll only wear during recovery. Hoping to be up for runs to thrift stores in the coming weeks. Do they have gift cards…? Anyone want to send me hand me downs? Should I compile a specific notes outline what is needed?

Many of your wonderful gifts are things I haven't worn yet because I don't want to ruin them with Silvadene. We're still figuring it out—I might end up getting more patterned tank tops to wear under satin pajama tops, and hopefully in a couple of weeks, I'll be able to wear the pajama pants and other pants once the last drain is gone!!

Bottom line: you are all a gift. Everything you've done to support me has made such a difference. Thank you for your contributions to the meal train, the GoFundMe, and through the Amazon list. I appreciate each and every one of them—and each and every one of you.

Celebrating Year One: Simple Joys and New Traditions

You're probably wondering what we did to celebrate our 1-year anniversary since we thankfully didn't need to spend it in the hospital! Well, thanks to wonderful folks like you, I had a lovely wrap skirt that made me comfortable going out in public—woohoo!

Given how many friends have come down with the flu recently, and the limited restaurant options near us that could accommodate me in a wheelchair (my walking is still at funny angles and for limited distances), we decided that a restaurant wasn't the best plan just yet.

Instead, my husband cooked for us. Interestingly, while Robie is constantly preparing food for me, it's usually reheating leftovers from meals his coworkers have dropped off, putting together take out meals someone has delivered, heating up takeout, or simple things like apples and peanut butter, or yogurt (which he makes from scratch—isn't he amazing?—then adds my flaxseed and cherries). We hadn't had a meal cooked by his hand in nearly three weeks, so it was a special treat to have him prepare one of our favorite staple meals. We also had a kind delivery of soup from one of his coworkers that we saved in the fridge for another day.

It was a gorgeous day out, and since I was up for being in public a bit more, he loaded up the wheelchair and we drove down to the river (not far from here). There's a path around the river that we used to walk all the time before my surgery. This time, he wheeled me around it instead. The path has pavers rather than being smoothly paved, so it was bumpier than usual, but it was so wonderful to be by the river and outdoors again.

We got to see more color in the landscape—splashes of creeping floral growth at some of the homes along the river, as you can see in the picture. We even spotted baby goslings! It was lovely to be doing something that used to be routine, even if it involved Robie pushing me the entire time. He got to be outside walking more than he usually does now, since we typically just take little spins around the neighborhood when we venture out.

We also stopped at one of our favorite restaurants that has a dessert counter. Robie took pictures of all the options and brought them back for me to choose. I selected pot de crème because—you know—chocolate! Usually I'm a cheesecake or Boston cream pie girl, but I've been craving chocolate since I couldn't have it for a while. We each got a special dessert and were able to share it while cuddling together on the couch a bit—something we haven't been able to do because of my drains. We can finally sit next to each other, which is wonderful even though I'm still not sleeping in the same room with him. It was nice to cuddle on the couch and watch a show before our nightly care routine.

My fabulous friend, nurse Kim, also came over that morning and helped me get ready for the day so Robie could play golf. We're trying to have someone sit with me and help out on Sundays so he can get his golf game in at least once a week—he needs a little time away from the house after his 14-hour days of caring for me. Kim helped me shower and went through my morning routine with me so he could have some time away, and then Robie and I had a wonderful afternoon and evening together.

It was delightful—in the history books it might quite possibly one of our quietest anniversaries, but it's kind of fun to start slow. We'll build from there, because we've got many, many, many more anniversaries to go.

How's Your #StandingWithShawna Challenge Going? 🪑🐒

It's not too late to join the #StandingWithShawna challenge! I've been absolutely touched by everyone who's participating and sharing their experiences with me.

From my athletic friends who makes it look effortless (though they've mentioned gaining a new appreciation for the benefits of their workout and an ongoing awareness of what I'm going through) to my gardening buddies who sent me messages about the humorous attempt of trying to get up from the ground without using their hands (oh how I wish I could've seen that!), every story connects us in this journey.

We're getting deeper into the challenge now, and I'm curious about how it's going for each of you. Are you noticing it getting easier? I turned a corner at about 10-12 days with how much easier the stands have become, and it stayed steady. I'm wondering if it's been sooner for you. Maybe it’ll take about 12 days for you even without the sutures and drains and havoc to your abdomen?

Remember, this challenge runs through May 21st, and I look forward to seeing your tags and messages with #StandingWithShawna. This simple practice not only gives you a glimpse into my daily reality but creates a beautiful connection between us during this journey.

If you haven't joined yet, it's definitely not too late! Just send me a message for the link to the previous post—there's still plenty of time to participate. Your participation means the world to me, and I'd love to hear how it's going for you, so please reply and let me know about your experience.

Support Options

• GoFundMe: https://bit.ly/GFMShawna (GoFundMe takes a 3% fee)

• Venmo: @ShawnaRodrigues (fee-free alternative)

• Amazon Wishlist: https://amzn.to/4bHT4RD

• Meal Train: https://bit.ly/SRMeals

Oh! I forgot to mention that Robie and I spent an hour after dinner on our anniversary painting watercolors, thanks to the generous gifts from someone just like you! It was fun, relaxing, and exactly what we both needed. These moments of creativity and calm are precious gifts during this time and the first time we were able to make space for it.

I'll be launching the "Being Honest" segment on The Grit Show in early May. The 10-14 hours of daily care since surgery has taken more bandwidth than I anticipated, but with fewer drains, things are looking up!

Thank you for being part of this journey and for every prayer, kind word, meal, gift, and gesture of support. Each one has created a moment of light during this challenging time.

With gratitude, Shawna