Countdown to the 1st Surgery

Dear Circle of Warriors,

I'm thrilled to share that the surgery is ON! After fighting a virus all week and sleeping endlessly while drinking fluids and limited to just Tylenol (as we were within a week of surgery), it finally broke yesterday. The stress of potentially canceling the initial surgery has lifted, which feels AMAZING!

Surgery #1

The big surgery is still a ways off, but the first surgery (biopsies and tissue prep – it should take about 2 hours) is scheduled for 7:30 AM and should last approximately 2 hours. I'll be at the hospital bright and early at 5:30 AM, so if you're awake, or anytime the first half of the day - please send extra prayers, love, healing thoughts, and good energy my way.

I'd also love if you could extend that positive energy to:

• The surgical team and everyone we'll encounter tomorrow

• My husband Robie, who isn't used to being the one in the waiting room, just as I'm not used to being the patient

Gratitudes Overflowing

From headphones to art supplies, the coolest thermometer to the most comfy button-up pajama tops (that I'll definitely wear in public!), body pillow covers... the list of amazing items being delivered keeps growing. I'm so grateful for every single gift!

My sister came up this weekend and helped with countless tasks—from delivering needed items like the walker I’ll be using to clearing out my shower for the shower chair to organizing things and moving plants from my upstairs office to the living room where I'll be recovering. She even made sure to place the plants high enough to keep them away from the cats (Meiko likes to eat plants, which is why they're usually locked away in my office!).

I received a $50 gift card from Bath & Body Works and learned I have a new Breville Smart Oven/Air Fryer on its way—both customer service wins happening within half an hour of each other today – the journeys of which both started before my diagnosis. It feels like the changing tide I needed today.

The GFM is over $12k!! We are so close to the goal…!!

The Reality of Letting Go

This past week has been about letting go even more than I thought possible. As I told one friend, it's as if I'm on a ship with a leak and they're telling me I have to throw the food overboard… I guess I have to trust I'll make it to land before needing more—or trust that a person can go without food longer than I realize. I thought I'd given up all I could, but it turns out when you don’t have a choice, you have to let go of more.

I've slept most of the week. Canceled a trip to see family, and still didn't have time for work because all I could do was sleep. I'd manage a couple hours of work and then sleep again. I thought I'd rest after the big surgery, not before the littler one! I'm having to let go of letting people down, of things not just being late, but not getting done, and it is hard.

I've done mental gymnastics figuring out how to make things work, only to have to drop them. Maybe that's why I'm so tired. With how much joy I have today, you'd think I feel great—I don't. I'm exhausted. I was ready for a nap before my 8 AM meeting. The medication keeping this cancer at bay is draining my energy, but I feel far better than I have for the past week. I’m actually so happy this surgery is happening, I really was worried it would be canceled. That’s what gratitude does!!

Showing Solidarity

Little ways to be of support…

What’s your favorite flower? I love them all, but if you force me to choose - peonies, tulips, and ranunculus top the list. This time of year I’m used to seeing the crocus and daffodils on my walks through neighborhoods (too cold for that in Bend!!)…

My Ask for You

I have a few small requests as we begin this journey together:

1. If you can, take a walk tomorrow and share with me the flowers you find along the way. I love flowers, and seeing what's blooming in your part of the world would mean so much to me. If you don’t have time to walk, or there are no blooms where you are yet, you can even simply find an old photo of flowers you took- I’m easy!

2. Consider wearing pink tomorrow in solidarity, or my signature dark teal/blue if you have it.

Y'all have been AMAZING. I'm truly grateful for your support as the journey begins.

With love and gratitude,

Until next time,

Shawna Rodrigues

Being Honest. A journey with Breast Cancer.