Pre-Op Conversations - Thursday, February 20, 2025

Hopefully, you’ve listened to the episode of The Grit Show (https://apple.co/4hHmAZY) where I shared the baseline, so I’ll just jump right in.

Let me catch you up on the latest developments after my call with the Reconstruction Surgeon's PA tonight. (Yes, I’m deliberately calling them my Reconstruction Surgeons rather than Plastic Surgeons – it better reflects what they're doing for me!)

When I tell people I'm having a double mastectomy with reconstruction, I often leave it at that. At a recent family dinner, my wonderful cousin (whom I love for asking questions!) wanted all the details, while my dad and brother were squirming out of their seats! I appreciate that "mastectomy" sounds nothing like "breast" – makes conversations easier. I know very well that it’s because of movements like Race for the Cure and all the warriors before me, that saying "Breast Cancer" doesn't make me blush (and 20 years ago when my mom walked this path, it not only made her blush, but physically shrink with embarrassment). With breast cancer affecting 30% of women diagnosed with cancer, it's important that we can talk about it openly. I know very well that not everyone wants the details, but for those who want to understand more, I’m an open book about my surgery, so know you can ask me questions, and my capacity for responding is the limitation not my discomfort on the topic.

Three Surprising Things I Learned Tonight:

1. No cats allowed! Between infection risks from pet dander and litter boxes, plus my 5-pound lifting restriction (meaning I can't even push them away if they jump on my sutures or surgical drains), they're suggesting we board them. We all know that Robie and Hobbes shouldn’t be separated at times like this, so our plan is to keep them locked away in Robie’s office upstairs. If Hobbes gets too vocal about it… I may need earplugs or noise cancelling headphones!

2. I won’t be able to stand fully upright for as much as a month. You read that right–a month. I’m supposed to be practicing what they’re calling a duck walk. I'll have to constantly maintain a 90-degree angle with both my knees and hips for at least two weeks. Starting after the first surgery and for at least 3 months… I can only sleep on my back.

3. My ADHD medication gets a vacation – 10 days before the first surgery and at least 2 months after the major surgery. Three months without my meds means that focus and productivity can’t be a priority for a considerable amount of time. (**This has been updated!! -Only 3 days before each surgery - and we are still figuring out the after surgery part… it likely remains the same.)

These were just the surprises. I’ve already been told that it will be a full three months of recovery and the first month will feel like I’ve been hit by a Mack Truck. All of these pieces (and the fact it is newer, complex procedure, and not available in a lot of geographies) help to explain why only 10-15% of breast reconstructions are done with this natural tissue method. The specific procedure is a DIEP flap, but even knowing that there seems to be some variance from what I’m having done and some confusion. The short explanation is that they’ll use my belly tissue- complete with a blood supply to keep it alive to fully rebuild my breasts. There won’t be any implants and I’ll have an incision from hip to hip. I won't bore you with why implants aren't my first choice (these decisions are deeply personal and I have the utmost respect for anyone whose choosing them - no one wants to be making this choice AT ALL), it's worth noting that I wasn't a great candidate for implants. It might be woth mentioning for everyone’s understanding that 50% of implant recipients need unplanned surgery within 5 years, they are a lot of upkeep.

The surgical team is refreshingly honest: this is their toughest procedure with a really rough recovery, and I might question my decision when I wake up. But they're impressed with my mindset and I’m confident in the team I have.

Yes, this procedure demands more upfront, but the long-term benefits make it worth it. My partner and I are both "long-game" people – we're willing to do the harder thing now for the overall best outcomes. I'm not even halfway through my life journey! I'm making choices that 95-year-old me will thank me for. Sometimes you've got to embrace the challenge when you know it's the right path forward. Live for longevity and do the hard thing- when it’s the right thing.

(I do realize it is easier to be optimistic and have a good mindset when I have so many warriors at my side - thank you to ALL of you from prayers to healing thoughts- to the generous and humbling donations that will make it possible for me to focus on my healing - https://bit.ly/GFMShawna)